They tell me give up, they tell me hold on. They tell me it’s not worth it, they tell me it’ll cost everything. They tell me try one more time, they tell me put the cards down. They tell me keep going, they tell me stop running. They tell me don’t cry, they tell me just let it out. They tell me everything’s going to be okay, they tell me it doesn’t look too bright. They tell me forget it, they tell me hold on tight. They tell me it’s a mistake, they tell me don’t regret it. They tell me forgive them, they tell me hate them. They tell me stop trying, they tell me don’t give up. They tell me move on, they tell stay put. They tell me stop hurting myself, they tell me go after her.
And I’m telling myself let go.. let go of the pain.. the unnecessary torment .. But how can I when I obviously still love you like this. How can I forget you when I see you first within a crowd of hundreds. How can I move on when I was so close.. How can I stop trying when I want to be with you so badly..
I’m stressing myself out, making my mind run miles and miles in circles. I can’t make up my mind, and slowly I feel like I’m losing myself, piece by piece. I’m trying so hard for you to open your eyes, and see what love really is. To see who’s really right here for you. And it doesn’t help that I keep changing my mind every five seconds, confused on what to do. You make me feel so indecisive. Should I stay, should I go? Pack my bags and leave? Stay up all night, with a cell in my hand, hoping I’d come to mind when you look for someone to call? Should I press ignore? Accept? You’re giveing me nothing but mix signals.
I haven’t been happy for a very long time. Like Honestly Happy , truley happy. I walk around like everythings ok , i walk around with a smile and laugh like im happy just like this . Well no , i have been incredibly unhappy for a long time . Some nights , i want to just break down and cry , some nights i just want to sit outside alone ; to just sit there and look at the moons , some nights i want to yell at everyone thats around me just cause im mad , but some nights i ask myself what would make be happy right now ? what would make me not angry , or not mad at you or them. It’s hard to explain , have you ever had that feeling when you want someone to leave you alone, but at the same time you want and expect them to sit there and comfort you, like when you walk away you want the guy you love in stop you to say something to pull you by the arm and feel how much he wants you to stay. To some girls , like me’ family and the love of my life makes me happy. Every girl wants to know when her love of her life will be there , can i ask te same queston ? if i do , whos going to answer it for me?